Just Forget It!

So you have misplaced your nail trimmer. Just forget it! Some things are just not worth the time, fret or energy to try to find. Now, if you have lost your wallet or car keys or eye glasses or cell phone, these come under the head of a different horse.

Separating the sufficiently important from the inefficiently unimportant is one of life’s best lessons. We often choose to major in minors, thus derailing ourselves from the main track whose destination is our primary goal to begin with. Going off on tangents serves nothing more than a brief fantasy excursion which is likely not a tourist route anyway.

Some things just need to come under the rubric of JUST FORGET IT! Spend no time searching, fretting, stewing over things you can’t do a lot about. Particularly, don’t sweat the small stuff. Once we have accomplished the goal of finding what it is we think we have to recover, we have taken the time to do many productive things with our time. Which is more important, the question is, the lost item or the lost time. Item or Time, which will it be?

If over the years one were able somehow to account for all the lost time looking for lost items, I’ll bet we would love to recover the time. And the lost items? Likely, we don’t even remember what they were.

Next time you misplace something you think you just must find, weigh the item against the likely time spent trying to find it. If the item weighs less than 2 ounces, unless it is a diamond ring or some other extremely valuable bauble, just forget it.

Next time you are asked by someone in the household to help find something they have misplaced, give them this list before proceeding:

*How critical is the item to your immediate health and welfare?

*If you find it, will life be any better off, than waiting to just pick up another one or give it a rest for a few days until it shows up?

*If it is found, will it be in a place that will embarrass once it is discovered? If so, do you really want it found?

*Once it is found, will you promise never, ever to misplace it again?

*Is it likely better off you just forget it?

Maybe this advice will save you a lot of time and embarrassment. Remember, Time or Item!

Accommodating Pain

One of the givens of aging, one of the profit sources many pharmacy companies pursue, one of the huge OTC products in any pharmacy or grocery store is the presence of pain and sundry medications to address it.

Today’s market is filled with options. Some promise amazing results. There are so many potions, pills, ointments, rubs, salves, potencys, supplements, balms, devices, lotions, pain relievers, gels on today’s market, one would think relief would be just one purchase away.

But sometimes they just don’t work. Sometimes they don’t seem to address the particular, localized, aggravating discomfort and the pain goes on. Now, what? Then where does one go in search of some easing of the discomfort, overcoming of the pain?

Today there are numerous ways pain may be addressed. We haven’t even chosen to go nuclear yet by listing or discussing here prescribed big time meds which can offer relief, but may carry significant side effects. Depending upon the nature of the pain, the counsel of a respected physician, your own experience and background be aware of possible side effects that may create more serious problems.

Accommodating pain sometimes means throwing the dice. Obviously, accommodating is the operative word. This means that one may need to resort to other than conventional medical care or prescriptions or other medications. Natural means are now available which give credence for exploring other options that do not include putting chemicals into your body to treat a given pain. There are naturopathic physicians who can guide you into an arena of previously unexplored treatment options. These may include acupuncture, chiropractic treatments, exercise regimens, yoga, any of a number of Oriental disciplines as well as meditation. Depending upon the pain, willingness to be open to untried methodologies may give satisfaction and release from pain never before imagined.

There are other options, not here mentioned. Among them, without going into full detail, are hypnosis, relaxation techniques, meditation disciplines that can alter the psyche sufficiently to decrease, minimize or perhaps even eliminate pain. No promises or guarantees are given here. However, measuring the pain against progress will be your/our way of knowing if/what/when any of these methods may be working. Good luck, pain is a deterrent to the full and rich life all of us seek to achieve.

When You Have Something You Need To Say

Interpersonal relationships often create the need for straight from the heart, eye to eye conversations. Often, without even knowing why, these conversations rise to the surface. Perhaps it is intuition, a look, a misplaced word, a series of frosty encounters, being ignored that presses the need to look for and find ways for conciliation.

Assuming both parties are ready, or ready or not, the initiator who has something needing to be said, will find that sensitive care and absence of a blaming or judgmental disposition will be required. Rehearsing what “needs to be said,” might even be useful.

Body language and choice of words will carry the message of sincere desire or desire for further provocation. The latter, while perhaps creating momentary satisfaction, will likely do little to rectify any differences that may exist. Sending a “I really told him or her” message will do nothing to provide for improvement in a relationship.

Looking for openings in which sincerity, willingness to offer apology, questions of “how did we get here,” if not known or acknowledged, will enable conversation to flow more readily.

Blaming messages will only aggravate and antagonize the climate. Using and repeating the “you” word will also offer ammunition for coming to at least a peaceful co-existence.

Keeping in mind the goal of wanting to clarify whatever may be contributing to the rub between you will better keep you and the other party on track. Derailment will put you back where you started, without having been able to say something you needed to say.

Another consideration may be inviting the presence of a third or fourth party. That will be up to the two principals, of course. Depending on the seriousness of the alienation, disagreement, disruption in relationship, any strategy is worthy of consideration to bring closure to the chasm which exists.

Strained relationships offer tension, anxiety, gnawing concern, even worry. Removing the cause of any of these will provide a more comfortable and day to day serenity. Get the impediments out of the way, remove the road blocks, take a ride together, perhaps in a convertible with the top down, and let the wind blow the past away.

Gadgets and Their Advantages for Seniors

Just a few years back, a friend, who was past 100 years old, decided she needed to learn to use the computer. She undertook the project and before she died had conquered it sufficiently to find it helpful and practical in its usefulness.

Getting older does not deter the possibility for continued learning. Sloth, giving up, caving in, making excuses all hold us back, as we age, from new and wondrous experiences.

The proliferation of modern gadgets from the now familiar computer and cell phone to the Ipod, Blackberry, phones that take photographs and send text messages, etc. allow for a huge world of interconnections and, on the negative side, interruptions. But, the plus side of that is no one need be lonely or isolated anymore.

While all of the gadgets may not have practical usage in your case, some can be very helpful and even life saving to the senior. A cell phone has certainly entered our world as a near, if not absolute, necessity. Maintaining contact in a busy, hurry up, rush around world is frequently a life line. Having a means for self protection is a form of insurance.

Allowing others to have your number, also gives permission for them to check up on you and be comfortable in the assurance that all is well.

Unexpected interruptions or delays are easily addressed by just a phone call, no matter where you are.

Another advantage is keeping phone numbers at the ready. They can be stored for easy retrieval. No more hustling through purse or pocketbook to find a needed number. needs?

The only disadvantage I find is in laying the phone down and failing to recall where. That still needs some work for those of us with shorter memories. For those with vision issues, who use the computer, there are ways to enlarge the print so that our shorter arms don’t have to be overused or overtaxed. Almost everything has been thought of to allow for convenience and usefulness, especially for the senior citizen.

So it goes, the world of innovation has been made available to those of us who live in a world of needed renovation. There are conveniences and gadgets out there designed just for us. They not only can expand our world, but enable our access to it.

Looking at the World Through Prescription Lenses

Frequent visits to the optometrist or ophthalmologist frequently reveal the need for corrective lenses. I have been going for so many years and have had to have so many corrections, it has become somewhat routine and predictable. No visit, in these years, has occurred without some tweaking of the lens to provide sharper vision. My case is aggravated by having had a genetically influenced condition called Cariticonus. It is a condition which simply understood means cone shaped cornea. It resulted in three cornea transplants. More, to the point, it contributes to distorted and progressively impaired vision.

There is another perspective on all of this, a parable or analogy at least. Our points of view often require correction. It takes examination to determine how skewed our vision is on persons, issues, attitudes, events, opinions, and so on. Often, just because we see something one way our expectation is that everyone will or does see it our way. While this may not be described as blindness on any given topic, it might at least be myopic.

Examining our viewpoints is a worthy practice. Often our perspectives are influenced by distortions, cloudiness, double vision, blurred sight. These common conditions affect how we see everything external and how we internalize much of what we take in. Further, we often are subject to getting only part of the picture. A few years back I suffered a stroke in my left eye, resulting in my having very limited and non correctable vision in that eye. All the work for my taking in what I see is now dependent on my right eye.

Corrections are futile, thus if my impaired vision tries to do the translating of what is in front of me, it may need rechecking or verifying with a closer look or the aid of someone else. Signs are particularly hard to see at certain distances when only having half vision.

One’s viewpoint is influenced by how well we can see, by how our internal makeup translates what we see, by the sharpness or dullness of our ability to see. Periodic checkups are necessary to sharpen our perceptions, to examine our viewpoint, to digest what we take in and how we explain what we see to others. Imagine being blind and having to depend on the rest of your senses for your perception of the world, how would you likely “see” what you “see?” Even sighted people depend on others to help us make out what we absorb with our eyes. All of us require the benefit of other viewpoints to help us take in the world.

Retirement is a Revolving Door

Retirement is a revolving door. No sooner does one have "everything in place," than something comes along to interrupt the flow. Frankly that isn't new nor surprising. That is a definition of life. Expecting total tranquility, hoping to avoid crises and change, harboring illusions about the golden years leaves one ill equipped to be ready for that door to slap you in the face.

So how does one get ready for the revolving door? Here are some clues:

>Serendipity is magical and it is what makes children so fascinating and curious. Adopt the credo of serendipity. Be ready for nothing....be ready for everything.

>Closing doors doesn't mean you must lock them. Keep your options open with friends and adventures, accept invitations, explore trails never travelled. Look under rocks.

>If spending too much time in an easy chair, put it in a room you don't frequent. Permit yourself to be up and about, talke a walk, stop to look around you, stay in touch with the outer world, which is good exercise for your inner soul.

>Hold hands with your spouse or a friend. Feel the warmth and pulse of another. It will remind you how precious every minute is.

>Look for friends in unusual places.

>Continue your membership in the human race, one of the greatest clubs in the world.

>Don't forget to groom your spirit every morning, as you groom your body for the day.

>Be comfortable deciding to take a nap.

>Say a greeting to everyone you meet. It may be the only one some people hear that day.

>Smile and Laugh every chance you get. Some people may think you odd, but let them worry about that.

When the time came for my dear aunt to live in a Care Facility, I asked her what she planned to do every day. Her reply, "Well I think I will probably sleep a lot and love everybody."

Let's choose Winston Churchill's counsel: "Never Give Up!" "Never Give Up!"

What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do!

Begin with making a list. Make a long list. That will take considerable thought and time. Once completed, review the list, determine a priority ranking; eliminate the ones that hold little to no interest. Keep refining the list or not. If not, then begin to assign time lines for the items you will undertake. Now that you have done the basic homework, you will also need to determine what each item on your list will take to accomplish its outcome.

Depending on the nature of the one making the list, this first task can take an inordinate amount of time. For those more impatient, it will move along quickly or be abandoned altogether, and the searcher will have to return to some other method for finding something to do when you don’t know what to do.

One of the things to do when you don’t know what to do is to clean out closets, drawers and other places of careless accumulation. This can take all day or longer, depending on the number of drawers, closets, and storage niches in your home. Be sure to have a waste basket near by.

Discriminate in your sorting. Don’t ever throw away something you might need. Otherwise you will have broken the basic rule of why you kept it in the first place. While this may become an exercise in rearranging instead of disposal, it surely will consume time.

Another enterprise, particularly for men, is to take on the garage. For this a much larger wastebasket will likely be necessary. It will also take longer and likely eventuate in having to remove tons of stuff to another location, a landfill or other suitable spot for such long-time kept treasures that “you were going to need someday.”

A cooperative undertaking could be attacking the attic or basement with similar intent. This will take courage, an agreement on how to avoid conflict over what will be kept and tossed, and a means for getting the stuff up or down the stairs.

If you have an outdoor garden shed, now that it is spring, get it ready for use during the growing season. Or, if its usefulness is well past, tear it down. Wait until an appropriately suitable day, one in which either or both parties is frustrated, angry or out of sorts with the other. The exercise and destruction will enable overcoming those feelings.

Now that you have found ways to create activity usefully, it should be easy to proceed down your list to the other things you so creatively thought up in the initial exercise.

If you give up on your list as you proceed, don’t blame me, I just offer suggestions.

Adjusting to Loss of a Spouse

Among the most difficult of experiences for anyone, particularly senior citizens, is dealing with the death of a spouse.

Relationships created by longevity, mellowed by love, deepened by experience, affirmed through familiarity are virtually irreplaceable. Of course we all know of persons who in their second marriage or so are blissfully happy. Such experiences are to be applauded and appreciated.

But, dealing with the loss of a lifetime spouse, in the neighborhood of 40 or more years, is an enormously difficult life experience. While there are preparations that can be considered, emotionally getting through the pain and heartbreak, grief and sudden loss are experiences requiring enormous resiliency.

A clergy colleague, Bob Deits, authored a very helpful guide a number of years ago titled, “Life After Loss.” While he deals with a variety of life losses, the application of his counsel if very useful for spouses who lose spouses. I commend its reading.

Of course, if a partner is going through an extended illness, that puts a different twist on the whole matter. Sudden loss and loss after a long illness are of two different stripes. This in no way reduces the grief or the separation that death brings. It may enable a different means for adjusting.

Adjusting to loss requires patience with oneself. Occasions of sadness and morose downers will come with frequency. Permission needs to be given for dealing with and getting through such times.

Well meaning friends will want to extend themselves to be helpful. Let them, but don’t allow them to go beyond boundaries which you need for yourself. Some well meaning folk will want to “check up on you” but won’t know what to say. Help them keep their conversations brief. What you need at such a time is understanding, some sympathy, but not interference.

Adjusting to loss is an incredibly earth shaking moment. It is unlike many of the heartbreaks in life, but it is one that eventually, for those who are married, breaks in upon our serene existence. When it does, the need for our own strength of faith, affection from others, and patience with ourselves will need to be called upon.

Effective Strategies for Dealing With Prostate Cancer

The fraternity of men who have or will have prostate cancer can be encouraged to know that there are options available for dealing with it.

Early detection is extremely important to treatment and cure. There is no substitute for getting your PSA checked annually, or more often if you are at risk. Once diagnosed, wise choices about the oncologist you choose, the method for addressing the cancer, and following medical advice meticulously are all essential.

For those who have gone through a severe diagnosis (vs 'it's okay to watch and wait), quick action will be imperative. Delays or waiting to see if it gets better or goes away, are likely life-threatening.

The Don Imus situation is like many and can be viewed with an encouraging eye. There are some IFs which contribute to that, however.

They are:

If you let go of ego and move boldly forward with the goal of preserving your life, your chances improve.

If you act quickly, which means with your doctor’s advice and counsel, you will likely have a more satisfying outcome.

If you are a laggard, then you may need the physician to be very frank with you. Lost days may mean a shortened life. My doctor told me delay would have meant I would have died in my early 70’s of a miserable, painful death.

If members of your family will support, encourage and assist you, you will be in a healthy position going in to whatever treatments will be called for.

If you feel you need more information, counsel, or advice, get it, but hurry.

If you have friends, colleagues who have already gone through it, compare notes, find out their treatment of choice, but be sure when you decide you are comfortable with your own decision.

If you are wise you will try to get a good assessment of what awaits following surgery or your chosen course of treatment.

For those with any hesitance at all, I must warn you this could be literally a question of life and death. I welcome any questions. I am in recovery from radical prostatectomy surgery for now over a year and have no indicators of any recurrence. My PSA is zip! BE aware, there are side affects. Life won’t be perfect, but the marvel of continued living will be.

A Potpourri of Stimulations and Syncopations

Most of what has been written here deals with stimulations and syncopations. An attempt to get us moving, to a new beat, rhythm or step in our daily living. Stepping out of the ruts of our routines can represent a major struggle. Seeing things differently, perceiving life events apart from our usual myopia requires urging and coercing. No matter our self perceived brilliance, we are human beings subject to habit, many of them negative and counter productive to our welfare.

Learning a new beat, a smoother step, listening to and getting the rhythm allows for excursions into wonderlands of fresh adventures. Enter a never before opened door, taken an unexplored path, venture into worlds and places and ideas never previously seen or considered. Stimulation and syncopation comes from the courage to go where you have never been. Ideas are our allies. Learning new words, probing wondrous and never before seen vistas opens up horizons of discovery.

The last several months of Senior Moments have been aimed at looking at a different shape of the box. Ordinary, trite, repetitious conceptualizing is no way to allow one’s mind to reach beyond confined borders. Break down the barricades. Imagine a new way of seeing and hearing and experiencing and embracing a world never before welcomed into your own universe.

Today is variety. Today is serendipity. Today is discovery. Today is pushing the envelope. Today is an eye opener. Today is seeing others for the first time. Today is believing that life can be different and fresh and new. Today is understanding frames of reference in a new context. Today is a new paradigm.

Lacking challenge and motivation, desire and willingness, life can become “same ol, same ol.” Choosing that as the operative means for managing existence works, but it can become awfully boring. Greeting others with the question: “what’s new” may be more challenging than asking “how are you?”

The choices we make every day become the moments of our creativity. The gift of 24 hours allows us to be in a divine position to shape our world for the day ahead.

Read back through some of what we have emphasized in the last 182 columns. Find those that may contribute to your conceiving new shapes and forms of your own being. You are not a marionette destined to repeat the same movements over and over. You are a fresh being, with the ability to breed new concepts and inventions. Choose to plunge into every day ready for new stimulations and syncopations.

Congratulating the Charitable!

For those who emerged out of the 50s, a sure sign that things are going south is that Playboy will not sponsor an All America Weekend, tied to sports, certainly including football. Simultaneously, Mr. Hefner has a mansion on the market, listed for around $26 million.

Sure signs of change are definitely penetrating even the world of glitz, glamour and, the previously worshipped celebrity clientele. Is this good or bad? I suggest it is both. Celebrities in their most shining moments offer enormous support for many serious causes. They grant the use of their names, homes, presence to stimulate interest in and support for children, terminal illnesses, global issues and causes. So, for the hypocritical who take pleasure in the fall of the “great,” perhaps we might consider at what cost to others this comes.

Many well known charities and foundations and causes have been, like all else, struck by what has been called “Father Greed.” Some of the well heeled have continued their mal adventures at the cost and sacrifice and pain of others. Surely, somehow, their payday, or lack of it, will come. While I am not a “vengeance is mine, thus saith the Lord,” I do believe love is the greatest force in the spinning universe and will have its day.

This is a time for goodness and for me and my house we will support and applaud all and any who are trying to rectify evil and root out harm. How persons choose to express their stewardship is up to them. How God chooses to meet those on the plains of heaven is up to God! So before we curse the darkness, let us give thanks for the few who still light candles, who still believe in the goodness of fellow humans, who still find that charity is like faith and hope, but it's still the greatest of all.

A Good Reminder for Growing Old

A book recently published by a friend, “Wake Up, Its Gap Time” provides some good advice for those of us in retirement.

Chapter One caught my attention right away. It is “Aging is not optional, but growing old is.” Martha Madden, author, quotes one of my favorite prayers, which she says she found in the diary of her mother. When I was a pastor, I often distributed it to members of my congregations. It goes like this:

“Lord, you know better than I know myself that I am growing older.

Keep me from getting talkative, and particularly from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every occasion.

Release me from craving to try to straighten out everybody’s affairs.

Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details—give me wings to get to the point.

I ask for grace enough to listen to the tales of others’ pains. Help me to endure them with patience, but seal my lips on my aches and pains—they are increasing and my love of rehearsing them is there.

Keep me reasonably sweet; I do not want to be a saint—some of them are so hard to live with—but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil.

Make me thoughtful, but not moody; helpful, but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all—but thou knowest, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end.”

Thanks, Martha, for reminding us of this eloquent and poignant prayer.

Testing Optimism Again

For a while now, it has been a challenge to be optimistic. Most of the tide has been against us. Alas, is it turning? There are some subtle signs. The signs are surely only ripples so far. But there seem to be some indicators that there may be promise ahead.

The Dow Jones alone won’t give us complete reassurance. The reversing of the fortunes of those guilty in engineering some of the schemes that created the financial disaster suggests that right may prevail. Like acts of random kindness, there are isolated positive indicators. There are still huge storm clouds and ill wind forecasts that don’t make it easy to have a happy go lucky, never mind tomorrow, devil may care attitude.

In any crisis, there is always the need for those who grasp the situation and help the rest of us find our way out of it. There is always that person who contrives methods, ideas, insights, courage and shares them with those who are lookers on. Begin looking around for those who, not out of self interest, but just because they are among us as wise and caring, can help us see the dawning light. They already have.

Guard healthy skepticism, for some, who would act as leaders, are traveling in the proverbial sheep’s clothing.

Remember, in an earthquake one must be vigilant for the aftershocks.

Reduce Risk: Take a Nap!

For those who live in the 48 states affected by Daylight Savings Time, the recent counsel for coping seems to be “Reduce Risk, Take a Nap.” The risk of heart attacks seems to be greater during those periods when sleep habits are affected by “leaping forward” or “falling back.”

Cultural changes have influenced and reduced the average night’s sleep, by as much as an hour and a half. Surely, the interruption of habits in when one goes to bed and gets up has something to do with that. Staying up later to catch a favorite television series or late night news or comedy show affects our hours of rest. Wakefulness, even if sedentary, is not a substitute for a good night’s rest, which is still recommended to be a full 8 hours.

Adolescents who sleep in, principally because they have stayed up so late, are doing what their body demands, getting the sleep they refused it the night before. Adults who rotate work shifts are in a perpetual hamster cage trying to adjust weekly to changes in schedule. Persons with various struggles with insomnia find themselves experimenting with all kinds of sleep aids, often without medical advice.

Like many dietary and exercise issues, the importance of sleep requires careful attention to taking care of yourself. Trying to make up a night’s sleep, or more, is like trying to recover what has been lost in the stock market. Anxiety, worry, distraction are all impediments to sleep. Establishing routines and patterns for restful sleep depends upon the individual and household. Examining those habits which may detract from adequate restfulness and sleep is a very good idea.

But, the best practical solution to all of this seems to be “Reduce Risk, Take a Nap!”

Where Will I Live Next?

Careful consideration goes into housing accommodations for seniors. There are several levels to be examined. As long as independent living is a realistic possibility, that is obviously the first choice. Even, with independent living, however, there are considerations having to do with care and keeping of property that may challenge physical ability.

So long as one can live in his/her/their own home and has ample assistance, as needed, can assure others of the ability to be safe to take on tasks judiciously that deserves to be the choice. Emotionally and psychologically being in one’s own home offers peace of mind and satisfaction. When the issue becomes one of safety and adequate day to day care, then examining other options becomes necessary. Reality checks may need to be frequent and they always need to be candid and honest.

There may be efforts on the part of the aging person to “hide” evidence of inability to live alone. Usually there will be hints that give away lack of care of the house, kitchen area, bath rooms, etc. If hygiene seems compromised, its time to talk; if there are throw rugs throughout the house which could contribute to falling, its time to move them; if there are appliances which could start fires, they need to be put away; if there are problems with vision, a serious visit to an ophthalmologist needs to be scheduled. If “fear of falling” is a consideration, a ‘call for help” button worn around the neck may be a good idea.

The matter of moving from one domicile to another is among the toughest of issues for the aging. It does not get any easier as each year passes. Even if decisions and agreements have been reached, dementia may interfere with acting out those previous understandings.

When the time comes, however that is determined, the following questions need to have been raised and honestly appraised.

*Are daily care needs such as to require assistance?

*Is there a facility, conveniently located, that will serve the family well?

*Have cost issues been resolved?

*Has a complete physical been done?

*Can regular visits be arranged for by family members?

*Depending on the care receiver’s ability to understand, has the new arrangement been explained?

*Is there comfort with the care givers in the new environment?

*If the facility offers independent living, is that an option?

*If assisted care is the only option, have family members reviewed the operations and licensing issues surrounding the facility?

These are among the larger issues requiring resolution. Hopefully, that resolution will be achieved in the best self interest of all involved.

Why Do You Care?

Why do you care? Why do you invest energy and affection in so many people whose lives have become important to your own? Why do you care about their health or their family or their welfare? Why do you care?

Is there any payback? Does there need to be? Why do you care?

Caring offers an emotional response to another. It is even well known in the animal world, and certainly among pets. Caring stretches from the heart and soul to reach into that of another. Its expressions are as numerous as there are stars in the sky. Caring means you have found and tapped that magical emotion that allows you to be compatible with others. It feeds on the very joy and satisfaction of being present to another. Its reward is caring itself.

There is a site called CaringBridgeJournal.com which gives opportunity to be in touch by email with persons who are undergoing life threatening illnesses. It is a means to be in touch with regularity, with persons who need to know someone cares.

There are programs within local churches which give one on one occasion to “be” with others. Stephen’s Ministry is an outreach program, principally designed to connect care givers with care receivers.

There are other programs, some localized, others that have national connections. These give a structured means for showing care and exercising compassion. Connecting with one or another of these options provides the means to keep your caring heart and muscles strong. Likely, it also adds to the stamina of the person with whom you are making yourself available.

Beside helping your own life to be more fulfilling, caring will grow into a routine that opens up the chance for others to learn how to care. Even the ill, who feel beset by their own troubles and needs, can find ways to be care givers at the same time they are receiving care. Wholeness is experienced when life is given the gift of Caring!

A Retirement Quest: The Never-Ending Search for Peace

Seeking peace will not bring the seeker to a final destination, unless you count death. Peace is often elusive, particularly if life seems beset with stresses, pain, brokenness and alienation.

A worthy pursuit, peace is often interrupted by unknown and unexpected interferences. It is then that the challenge to sustain the pursuit will be all the more crucial. Bombarded by forces beyond our control, the peace seeker shall forever be in the midst of challenges that test our mettle.

Peace is the subject of literally thousands of self help guides, the theme of many inspirational books, the essence of many pithy quotes, the core of spiritual searches.
Some are profound. Others are empty. The source of peace, while assisted by external
sources, will never be the means to sustain Peace. Peace finally comes from within. Its lifeblood is found in sharing and giving peace to others.

Peace is not something one can hoard for a rainy day. It cannot be deposited in an account to draw upon when needed. It is an active and perpetual exercise to generate it and to extend its life by distributing it to others. Think of it as something you do by rote or habit. Being peaceful creates peace. Maintaining a peaceful demeanor provides example to others. Showing peace in the face of crisis or internal warring emotions is a model of the power of peace.

Life is not always what we anticipated or expected. Perhaps there are days when life just isn’t giving us what we think we deserve. There’s the catch. Deserving a good life isn’t guaranteed. The bumper sticker that proclaims “There, but for the grace of God, go I,” is a flight of ego fantasy that suggests comparative worth. There will be no peace in that. There is no peace in praying that you are more worthy than the other person praying at the altar.

The quest for peace requires a ready reminder that our attitudes toward others and ourselves requires daily inventory. When slippage occurs, seeking external inspiration may be helpful. Examining the perceptions we have of ourselves and others may require an overhaul of ourselves. “I have always been this way” does not justify unhealthy behaviors. Confessing that there are serious flaws needing correction or radical surgery in our soul is often a good starting place for achieving new found peace.

The ritual of persons from other cultures to both greet and bless each other with signs of peace is not unlike the practice of “benediction,” which means “good words.” Offer good words to those you meet and greet. In return, peace will be nourished in your own life and soul.

Mustering the Courage to Write

The discipline of daily writing is not unlike any other routine. It must come first, it must contain some element of inspiration, , it needs to be somewhat timely, or, at least, humorous, informative, inspirational or contain something which pulls the readers’ eyes

Finding topic and title or headline which will grab attention is essentially creating the hook to catch readers. Once the reader has been attracted, the first paragraph needs to lure them further and the second hold them until they have finished the piece. If, while you are writing, the topic and content don’t hold you, it won’t hold others.

Content has to come from somewhere. Research is a good start on topics you find worth exploring. It may come from something you have casually read, a comment from a recent conversation, a flash of inspiration, an idea that has been incubating for a long time. Writing gives the occasion for germination, completion, maturation of the idea into a fruitful document that may stir the imagination of others.

Writing can be both therapeutic and healing. It allows for private venting of thoughts which might otherwise never enjoy expression. Lacking a therapist, the keyboard may serve as your outlet for divulging long held ideas, concerns, pains, joys and creative energies you never knew you had.

So, once you have found your topic, and you feel comfortable sharing that topic which others will choose to read and discover something about the author, it is time to put the idea to words, to add sentences and paragraphs in outline or prose or poetry, or whatever your chosen art. It is time to test how good you are at “talking to yourself” and allowing yourself to talk back.

Other than Laugh, What Would I Do?

So far no responses to my plea for responses. That’s okay. You seem to keep coming anyway. It appears there must be something on the table that satisfies your taste. The world won’t come to an end if there is no feedback. This column may, for lack of stimulating ideas for topics, but the world will still be okay.

Frankly, most of us are overwhelmed with things to do, requests for time and attention, suggestions of how we may be helpful. Meanwhile we are heading off all the invitations we get from well meaning sources for well deserved tasks. It just can’t be done anymore. We have learned, at last, that NO! is a complete sentence. And that it is perfectly okay to refuse the multitude of requests, not out of discourtesy, just the need for time to do so many other things.

Now that you have this well defined excuse to turn me down, feel free to do so with others. And, if you decide to write me anyway, other than laugh, I will just be grateful.

Other Than Faint, What Would I Do?

Because of an internet source called Sitemeter, I keep track of who visits this senior citizen blog. It is very helpful, down to letting me know on a world map what city you are in proximity to. (ooops another one of those prepositions.) Now, I would like to offer you a proposition.

For those who are regular visitors you are the reason I keep writing. Beyond that, my ego allows me to think that there may be something useful in these daily columns, excluding weekends.

It is certainly more than a hobby. It is a means of exercising my joy at putting something on the printed page. It is more than just venting, my wife accuses me of that often enough. It is not just because my opinion on anything is superior or excellent or even worth reading. But what a wonderful instrument it is to allow those as audacious as some of us to make our presence known, here on the Internet. Millions will never know about Senior Moments. Maybe not even thousands, but those who take the time and trouble to pick up a rock and find us here, may find something worthwhile.

If you do, and this is the point of the title: “Other than Faint, what would I do?” I would be extremely pleased if feedback came from your having dropped in. While I can almost pinpoint where you live, by city at least, knowing your opinion about some of what is said here would be additionally encouraging.

There is a wonderful story about a new minister who arrived at his new charge. He preached the first sermon, with zeal and great preparation.

At the end of the sermon, when greeting persons as they departed, he was finally met with an older, somewhat crochety, octogenarian. He approached the minister, shook his hand, and declared “that’s the worst sermon I ever heard.” “You should go back to seminary and learn how to preach.”

Crestfallen, the minister received the next person in line, a gracious lady, said, “Oh, reverend, don’t listen to him, he only repeats whatever other people say.”

This author would greet warmly whatever you have to say. Come my way, through whatever avenue you like and let me know what you think, what you like to hear about, from my point of view.

When I recover from fainting, I will send you a personal reply.

Footprints and Open Minds

That discovery of a million and a half year old footprint has turned a lot of assumptions on their proverbial head, questioning for those whether there has ever been anything inside the head? For the creationists and others who still insist that mankind came along only 5000 years ago, this has to shake their resolve. Well, maybe at least a little?

The wonders of discovery and science and research and probing and uncovering and finding and suggesting there is more to be found shatters the belief that it was all put together by a creator who acted by pointing HIS finger and shouting out orders. Can God, by any definition, be supremely capable of a strategy for creation that super
cedes fairy tales and myths?

The unfolding of life, still and yet, suggests the ability is there, the likelihood is enormous and humanity is certainly the continuing beneficiary of it all. It becomes suspicious that those who want to hold to the fairy tales and myths, do so out of an incredibly large ego that says, somehow our interpretation of creation is superior to God’s role in manufacturing it, however it was done. Omnipotence means “all power or all powerful.” Get it? Human references to God or gods, in whatever religious context, by definition reduce God’s godness.

The spiritual quest for God is richer and more critical an undertaking to prove that God did things “my” or “our” way.” The footprint found by researchers who spend their existence trying to get a glimpse of humanity’s past is, by its own act, an act of a creating God, who continues to urge us further into the jungles of our past, the wildernesses of our wanderings.

The more we come to know the greater the universe becomes, the more likely the “big bang” is more than a theory, the more Darwin becomes an important niche in our human experience and the magic of new finds about us and about spiritual dimensions of our existence.

So with every footprint we leave behind, may we forge ahead with Open Minds, ready for whatever incredible, sensational unfolding of our total life experience awaits us.

What Next?

Naïveté is one of our most wonderful satisfactions. It allows us to go blithely about our way without anticipating consequences. It gives us the chance to close our eyes, or at least wink at some of the barricades that create roadblocks along the way.

For senior citizens who typically flock to the southwest, encountering some serious roadblocks today is a widely reported and very threatening reality.

Persons who typically travel to the Arizona-Mexico, California-Mexico, New Mexico-Mexico or Texas-Mexico Borders need to apprise themselves of the significant warnings and dangers posted along these areas. Government agencies, including, Army bases, Church Mission groups and others are being given very strict information regarding the risks of crossing these borders.

Older persons who enjoy purchasing their medications at reduced prices in Mexico may want to consider foregoing that savings during this period of high alert. Excursions into Mexico for sight seeing should be reevaluated.

College or high school students especially should not plan a spring break holiday in these areas.

Such warnings are not intended to be alarmist, but offer common sense judgment at a volatile time. Drug cartels are exercising their tactics of intimidation and violence. Persons who are tourists should steer clear of literal cross fire.

In the face of such extreme danger, it seems prudent to avoid these areas.