Some days are for staying in bed! This may be one of them. Of course, I am being facetious. That, in the face of crisis, is the worst thing a person can do. To yield to the possibility of creeping depression, emotional and economic, is just not smart. Rather, it is prudent to get up and take action. William James, in "The Varieties of Religious Experience," tells of the person who lolls in bed, feeling the warmth and comfort of the coverlets and enjoying the soothing distraction of sleep. But then, he says,one begins contemplating the things of the day and slowly, but very surely one is struck with "hollo, I must get up." And so one rises to the challenges of the day.
This is one of those days. This is a day for evaluation and considerable thought. This is a day for making some decisions, not in haste, but deliberately, prudently and emphatically. Harvey Cox, theologian of the 60's era, declared 'not to decide is to decide!" So, if anxious about the state of affairs and the shaky economy, it is time to do more than watch and wait. You may decide to do nothing, to remain with your financial situation as it is, but at least you will have chosen that path with forethought.
To do so, consider the following:
$Panic is not a healthy motivation for decision making. Stampeding oneself into a 'chicken little' state of mind is surely counterproductive. Choosing irrationally will have its own sad consequences. This is the moment when pulling together one's problem solving abilities and partners is called for. This is the moment to get out of bed and get on with the day, facing whatever comes. This is the day to quell the temptation to depression. This is the day to slay the dragon!
$So, get up, move on and take some action. Revive the spirit of taking charge of your own life and its conditions. Do not allow circumstances to be in charge. Look out for your self interest today, but without anger, ordinarily a counter productive emotion.
$Carpe diem! Seize the day. Be in charge of your affairs. Identify those whose judgment you trust. Evaluate the short and long term dynamics of your choices. Be prepared to live with the results of your decision.
$Include your family in the process. Don't leave them in the dark. They are anxious too.
$Keep a record of your telephone conversations with your broker or whomever you choose .
$Once you have managed to structure your position in a way with which you are comfortable, go on to other things. Do not dwell on this situation constantly.
$However, review the situation, in so far as it affects you, on a daily basis. Keep informed and aware of the dynamics affecting you.
These are not ordinary times. We may never see ordinary times again. Wishing things to be different won't make it so. Stay in charge of your life, and its implications, so long as you can. And, if you can't, trust those in whom you hold the boldest confidence.
Remember, this is a ripple not tsunami!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
The Wake Up Call: Financial Crisis, Greed and Consequences
Ok... it's here, that moment so anticipated and dreaded . I'm talking about the financial crisis facing our country today, a crisis of greed and overindulgence. It really isn't a surprise, after all it wasn't the apple in the tree that caused the problem, it was the pair on the ground. And the pair wanted more! They wanted to explore the boundaries in this myth of our origins. But, this myth is full of truths about the human family and condition.
Most of us try to live by the rules. We've thought all our lives that morals and ethics and common sense make a difference in the world. We are getting a big decibel wake up call.
It is still true that people who break the rules create consequences and, like a stone thrown in a pond, its ripples move ever outward. Wall Street and Washington broke the rules and now the American People are being called upon to bail out the millionaires and billionaires who made bad decisions. Some of those guys are CEOs who will walk away from their failures with millions more in their golden parachutes. We're paying for the parachute too. Yes, we need a stable economy, but at what price?
Now is the time for sanity. It is not a time for fear or escapism or panic or overwhelming anxiety. It is a time to read and to find words from the wisest of the wise who will encourage our
innate ability to work it out. My parents lived through and survived the depression. I was born on the tail end of it and have heard of its horrors all my life.
Now is the time for reason. This one is the clincher. Being reasonable in the face of all the unreasonable dynamics of this very unpredictable time is what is required. We have, I think it is fair to say, put our trust in the wrong places. We have, I suggest, believed in persons or institutions who may not be able to magically solve all our problems. We have, I propose, an opportunity to seriously question the reasons for our present catastrophe.
I have many friends, some of whom I hope read this, who disappoint me with their willingness to go along, to do things as they have always been done, to forgo serious investigation and introspection. I thoroughly appreciate these wonderful human beings who have shared with us many moments of fond remembrance. But now, it is time to be blunt.
Please do not sell our future for a mess of pottage. Please do not go blindly into the dark night, which we commonly face. Please, do not automatically assume that what you have always done in the past will work this time. Please care about your children and grandchildren and friends enough that you can quietly go about assessing things differently. Please!
I am no alarmist, but I am deeply, deeply concerned about the state of affairs our nation faces. I am concerned because all our lives, in one way or another, are in the balance. I had an African American colleague who was one of my mentors. He used to say: "It is 11 o'clock, and later than you think." It really is. I am a student of history and the upheavals of history show us how nations and kingdoms have fallen. Ours is not immune. The wake up call is sounding right now. It's time to wake up!
Most of us try to live by the rules. We've thought all our lives that morals and ethics and common sense make a difference in the world. We are getting a big decibel wake up call.
It is still true that people who break the rules create consequences and, like a stone thrown in a pond, its ripples move ever outward. Wall Street and Washington broke the rules and now the American People are being called upon to bail out the millionaires and billionaires who made bad decisions. Some of those guys are CEOs who will walk away from their failures with millions more in their golden parachutes. We're paying for the parachute too. Yes, we need a stable economy, but at what price?
Now is the time for sanity. It is not a time for fear or escapism or panic or overwhelming anxiety. It is a time to read and to find words from the wisest of the wise who will encourage our
innate ability to work it out. My parents lived through and survived the depression. I was born on the tail end of it and have heard of its horrors all my life.
Now is the time for reason. This one is the clincher. Being reasonable in the face of all the unreasonable dynamics of this very unpredictable time is what is required. We have, I think it is fair to say, put our trust in the wrong places. We have, I suggest, believed in persons or institutions who may not be able to magically solve all our problems. We have, I propose, an opportunity to seriously question the reasons for our present catastrophe.
I have many friends, some of whom I hope read this, who disappoint me with their willingness to go along, to do things as they have always been done, to forgo serious investigation and introspection. I thoroughly appreciate these wonderful human beings who have shared with us many moments of fond remembrance. But now, it is time to be blunt.
Please do not sell our future for a mess of pottage. Please do not go blindly into the dark night, which we commonly face. Please, do not automatically assume that what you have always done in the past will work this time. Please care about your children and grandchildren and friends enough that you can quietly go about assessing things differently. Please!
I am no alarmist, but I am deeply, deeply concerned about the state of affairs our nation faces. I am concerned because all our lives, in one way or another, are in the balance. I had an African American colleague who was one of my mentors. He used to say: "It is 11 o'clock, and later than you think." It really is. I am a student of history and the upheavals of history show us how nations and kingdoms have fallen. Ours is not immune. The wake up call is sounding right now. It's time to wake up!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
It Had to Happen!
It had to happen. First they began changing and blow drying the images of our historic heroes on our currency. Now, wouldn’t you know it, for something that is not much needed any longer, the visage of Abraham Lincoln on the one cent coin is being altered. Is nothing sacred any more, I ask with tongue in cheek?
But it is just such incidentals, and costly rearranging, that stirs up the people. We aren’t much into trying to understand the real life issues affecting the body politic, but give us some nit picking incidental and we are all over it. It is just such avoidance and denial (not a river in Egypt) to which we flock readily and eagerly.
Those who bothered to learn about the Romans and their herd like behavior as they crowded the coliseums for graphic, xxx rated, violent and merciless entertainment as animals and gladiators met in open combat to the death may draw some insight. Or perhaps we are all content to play the fiddle (do any of us even know it is a violin) while Rome burns!
It is encouraging that 43% of the American public seems to be following and taking the present presidential marathon seriously. It is promising that more young people are getting heavily involved .
It is hopeful that some in the media aren’t afraid to press the hard questions. It is reassuring that some, particularly seniors, are willing to change their minds.
We are at the threshold of one of the most serious moments in human history, and certainly in my lifetime. For years I found myself bored when my parents discussed the Great Depression. With retrospect and some education, I realize what they were teaching me then. I realize that their experience was a harbinger for mine. They were among those who were rescued by the vitality and the innovation introduced by FDR. They were among those who did not defame Mr. Roosevelt for his helping to dig America out of the morass that greed and Wall Street helped create. They learned that government sometimes works for the benefit of the whole….and that sometimes it doesn’t.
Keeping in mind that any political party can create havoc, and certainly we need no more proof than is presently playing itself out, it is time for us to make bold decisions, to filter information, to refuse to allow a sound bite to be the determining factor in the choices we make, to commit to preserve bed rock principles that have helped to uphold our political system.
No magic formula, no silver bullet, no imaginary genie coming out of an imaginary bottle to rescue us!
It’s just us now….face to face with the harshness of a very tough time. Pretend if you like, stick your head in the sand, if you must, but on the other side don’t blame someone else for the choices you make.
But it is just such incidentals, and costly rearranging, that stirs up the people. We aren’t much into trying to understand the real life issues affecting the body politic, but give us some nit picking incidental and we are all over it. It is just such avoidance and denial (not a river in Egypt) to which we flock readily and eagerly.
Those who bothered to learn about the Romans and their herd like behavior as they crowded the coliseums for graphic, xxx rated, violent and merciless entertainment as animals and gladiators met in open combat to the death may draw some insight. Or perhaps we are all content to play the fiddle (do any of us even know it is a violin) while Rome burns!
It is encouraging that 43% of the American public seems to be following and taking the present presidential marathon seriously. It is promising that more young people are getting heavily involved .
It is hopeful that some in the media aren’t afraid to press the hard questions. It is reassuring that some, particularly seniors, are willing to change their minds.
We are at the threshold of one of the most serious moments in human history, and certainly in my lifetime. For years I found myself bored when my parents discussed the Great Depression. With retrospect and some education, I realize what they were teaching me then. I realize that their experience was a harbinger for mine. They were among those who were rescued by the vitality and the innovation introduced by FDR. They were among those who did not defame Mr. Roosevelt for his helping to dig America out of the morass that greed and Wall Street helped create. They learned that government sometimes works for the benefit of the whole….and that sometimes it doesn’t.
Keeping in mind that any political party can create havoc, and certainly we need no more proof than is presently playing itself out, it is time for us to make bold decisions, to filter information, to refuse to allow a sound bite to be the determining factor in the choices we make, to commit to preserve bed rock principles that have helped to uphold our political system.
No magic formula, no silver bullet, no imaginary genie coming out of an imaginary bottle to rescue us!
It’s just us now….face to face with the harshness of a very tough time. Pretend if you like, stick your head in the sand, if you must, but on the other side don’t blame someone else for the choices you make.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
The Mean Green Tea Revolution!
Doors unopened, windows nailed shut, closets unexplored….until a knock comes from the other side of that door, a baseball comes flying through that window, that closet is finally revealed with all its treasures.
That is what it has been like since undergoing the new discipline of writing this blog. Just today a new opportunity was introduced, yesterday an invitation came to edit the publication of a new book, windows and doors and closets are flying open all over the place. And, I thought my dotage had already set in. Not on your “sweet bippy.” Here I am on the threshold of 70 and it begins to feel as if I have discovered the secret to the late George Burns in the line from the song “I wish I were 18 again…..and going where I’ve never been.”
Today’s opportunity has to do with Green Tea, of all things. So start looking for and Googling green tea, because we are going to be in the middle of that phenomenon. Talk about Green! This is green for the body and mind and soul. How about discovering the benefits of ingesting green tea known for centuries in Japan and China? Learn the possibilities for increasing longevity through the drinking of green tea. Become a connoisseur of green teas, discovering the ones that offer the best advantages.
Today, I am just getting my palate ready. I don’t know a lot about green tea, but I soon will and invite you to join me. Having had cancer, needing every health advantage I can, I am anxious to open those doors, if necessary break those windows, and certainly to clean out those closets.
So join the Mean Green revolution. Begin finding all the ways you can help make your body green. Breathing clean air, drinking pure water, ingesting healthy and quality foods are as important to reducing your carbon footprint as driving pollution free automobiles, cutting down on your in home energy use, avoiding plastics and other offenders of our environment.
I am not a “this will change your life” type on everything new that comes along (of course, green tea is certainly not new) it may give you the chance to experiment with better habits which may offer some changes to your health. That is the goal of persons who care about what they eat and how they behave, and how sensitive they are to continuing to learn.
Join the Mean Green revolution. Ignore those who may call you a “tree hugger.” Frankly, trees are still among the earth’s most medicinal properties. And, isn’t it time more of us hugged trees before there are no more to hug.
That is what it has been like since undergoing the new discipline of writing this blog. Just today a new opportunity was introduced, yesterday an invitation came to edit the publication of a new book, windows and doors and closets are flying open all over the place. And, I thought my dotage had already set in. Not on your “sweet bippy.” Here I am on the threshold of 70 and it begins to feel as if I have discovered the secret to the late George Burns in the line from the song “I wish I were 18 again…..and going where I’ve never been.”
Today’s opportunity has to do with Green Tea, of all things. So start looking for and Googling green tea, because we are going to be in the middle of that phenomenon. Talk about Green! This is green for the body and mind and soul. How about discovering the benefits of ingesting green tea known for centuries in Japan and China? Learn the possibilities for increasing longevity through the drinking of green tea. Become a connoisseur of green teas, discovering the ones that offer the best advantages.
Today, I am just getting my palate ready. I don’t know a lot about green tea, but I soon will and invite you to join me. Having had cancer, needing every health advantage I can, I am anxious to open those doors, if necessary break those windows, and certainly to clean out those closets.
So join the Mean Green revolution. Begin finding all the ways you can help make your body green. Breathing clean air, drinking pure water, ingesting healthy and quality foods are as important to reducing your carbon footprint as driving pollution free automobiles, cutting down on your in home energy use, avoiding plastics and other offenders of our environment.
I am not a “this will change your life” type on everything new that comes along (of course, green tea is certainly not new) it may give you the chance to experiment with better habits which may offer some changes to your health. That is the goal of persons who care about what they eat and how they behave, and how sensitive they are to continuing to learn.
Join the Mean Green revolution. Ignore those who may call you a “tree hugger.” Frankly, trees are still among the earth’s most medicinal properties. And, isn’t it time more of us hugged trees before there are no more to hug.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Reclaiming the Good Name of Religion
What is the IQ of someone who believes and espouses that "puberty is the age of consent?" Well that is just one of the off the wall, crazy, misinformed opinions of the latest "evangelist" to flame out. Not unlike politicians, some preachers use their positions to propound theories and exact obedience that costs the rest of us in pain and currency.
There have been too many of these snake oil sales persons who continue to use slimy methods to "sell" their religion. How many will be duped? How many more will be ripped off, raped, held up?
In the name of religion, for centuries, we have seen leaders and licentious preachers, albeit evangelists, who are sure they have the keys to unlock all the mysterious doors of existence, if (and it is always a big IF) we will turn our allegiance and largess to them. For God's sake, why is God subject to such abuse? For God's sake, why is religion whatever some backwoods dummy says it is? Religion needs to be taxed, but not faith. Religion is a much maligned and misused medium that serves the leaders more often than the followers. It is time to quell the demons of darkness. The only way to do that is to expose them to the light of day and truth and objectivity. No More Snake OIL!
If that is the best religion can do, then like so many commercial products on the shelves, there is little or no need for it at all Religion deserves, as does patriotism, its good name back. James Thurber, author of "Further Fables for our Time," wrote: "It is better to have the ring of freedom in your ears than in your nose." Wake up, Think, Question, Probe! Even though I have been a United Methodist minister all my life I do not hold some magic formula which says I have all the answers. If God really is God, you were created and given the chance to do some thinking for yourself. Do it. It may surprise you how much wiser you become.
There have been too many of these snake oil sales persons who continue to use slimy methods to "sell" their religion. How many will be duped? How many more will be ripped off, raped, held up?
In the name of religion, for centuries, we have seen leaders and licentious preachers, albeit evangelists, who are sure they have the keys to unlock all the mysterious doors of existence, if (and it is always a big IF) we will turn our allegiance and largess to them. For God's sake, why is God subject to such abuse? For God's sake, why is religion whatever some backwoods dummy says it is? Religion needs to be taxed, but not faith. Religion is a much maligned and misused medium that serves the leaders more often than the followers. It is time to quell the demons of darkness. The only way to do that is to expose them to the light of day and truth and objectivity. No More Snake OIL!
If that is the best religion can do, then like so many commercial products on the shelves, there is little or no need for it at all Religion deserves, as does patriotism, its good name back. James Thurber, author of "Further Fables for our Time," wrote: "It is better to have the ring of freedom in your ears than in your nose." Wake up, Think, Question, Probe! Even though I have been a United Methodist minister all my life I do not hold some magic formula which says I have all the answers. If God really is God, you were created and given the chance to do some thinking for yourself. Do it. It may surprise you how much wiser you become.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Autumn: Celebrate Its Beauty
Welcome Autumn! There are two seasons which seem to top out as favorites....they are autumn and spring, not counting winter and summer.
Autumn is replete with color and aromas and the sense of getting ready for another year to end. It is that in between time...between the lazy days of summer (if ever that were true) and the season of holidays, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, the New Year (and, of course my birthday, which everyone celebrates on December 31).
There is something so remarkable about autumn....lyrics have made it so, movies have captured its visage, particularly when shot in the northeast, travel beckons to places and sites that embody the flavors of autumn: pumpkin soup and pie, cranberry, maple syrup, spiced cider and fresh apples, slabs of bacon, smores, cooked out of doors, calming pit fires inviting friends to gather round, tell stories, laugh and just watch the fire.
Then, as laughter subsides and heads nod and shoulders become pillows and the twinkling stars begin to catch our eyes, we know that all is right and good with the world. Isn't it refreshing to come upon an occasion when that feels true, if only fleetingly? Isn't it remarkable, in the face of all that is wrong around us, that we can take a momentary break and breathe in the primordial silence that reminds us just how long the world has been around and how many times it has gone around?
So, from now until December 21, share your autumn with as many of your acquaintances and family as is possible. Salute every morning with deep, invigorating gulps of autumn air. Watch the changes around you...the leaves, the crispness of the morning; embrace the one you love; keep each other warm as twilight falls; pile an extra blanket on; sleep the sleep of kings and queens.
Live as if the rest of life is autumn until winter comes and then spring....and then live those days with the same invigorating spirit as you do autumn. After all, the seasons are the only life we have....don't count the days till its over, just squeeze all you can out of every one of them.
Autumn is replete with color and aromas and the sense of getting ready for another year to end. It is that in between time...between the lazy days of summer (if ever that were true) and the season of holidays, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, the New Year (and, of course my birthday, which everyone celebrates on December 31).
There is something so remarkable about autumn....lyrics have made it so, movies have captured its visage, particularly when shot in the northeast, travel beckons to places and sites that embody the flavors of autumn: pumpkin soup and pie, cranberry, maple syrup, spiced cider and fresh apples, slabs of bacon, smores, cooked out of doors, calming pit fires inviting friends to gather round, tell stories, laugh and just watch the fire.
Then, as laughter subsides and heads nod and shoulders become pillows and the twinkling stars begin to catch our eyes, we know that all is right and good with the world. Isn't it refreshing to come upon an occasion when that feels true, if only fleetingly? Isn't it remarkable, in the face of all that is wrong around us, that we can take a momentary break and breathe in the primordial silence that reminds us just how long the world has been around and how many times it has gone around?
So, from now until December 21, share your autumn with as many of your acquaintances and family as is possible. Salute every morning with deep, invigorating gulps of autumn air. Watch the changes around you...the leaves, the crispness of the morning; embrace the one you love; keep each other warm as twilight falls; pile an extra blanket on; sleep the sleep of kings and queens.
Live as if the rest of life is autumn until winter comes and then spring....and then live those days with the same invigorating spirit as you do autumn. After all, the seasons are the only life we have....don't count the days till its over, just squeeze all you can out of every one of them.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Now What? Finding Promise in an Unpromising World
Now what? Recent weeks have laid a heavy load on many older and retired persons across this country. The horrendous storms which began off the coast in the Gulf and in Florida and then traversed through the Midwest and points in the north and northeast left scars and pain all along the way.
The Stock Market trembled and is still shaking, leaving many now retired, and some yet to be, anxious about their economics and frail in their hopes for some kind of assurance and security.
So it is not surprising that a simple two word question, "Now what?" leaps from our lips. Certainty is not very certain these days. Security, a word used by politicians, sounds dry and unpromising. We would like to have the calming confidence that someone, somehow, some way could bring about a national sense of honor and duty and responsibility. Wouldn't it be great to experience the sense of what a warm handshake once communicated: "you can count on me!"
Now what? Here are my weak suggestions from six decades of living, four of preaching, a lifetime of believing, a great sense of hoping, and a genuine regard for the struggles of life and our ability to overcome them:
First, the Don'ts.....
+Do not panic. Do not act precipitously or anxiously. Use good judgment, but be careful who you trust.
+Do not grab at straws! There will be those out there ready to take advantage of the moment and make it even worse than it may seem, right now.
+Do not bury your savings in a coffee can or hide them under a mattress.
+Do not be uniformed. Keep up with what is going on. Don't trust the politicians' formulas, without reading more than the headlines. Stay in touch with your congressperson and Senator.
+Don't lose sleep. Tomorrow will dawn and the Stock Market will open. Let tomorrow's concerns be sufficient unto themselves.
Now, for some Dos:
+Do keep your health in reasonable condition. Allow your breathing to be slow and measured. Stay with your exercise regimen. Talk about something other than the crises affecting all of us.
+Do check on persons whom you know to be worriers. Give them a shot of optimism.
+Do listen to and read accounts from other than highly biased commentators and columnists.
+Do watch out for the apocalyptic preachers who are in it for the bad times. They would wish us to believe "it is all over but the shouting." That is hopeless and faithless garbage.
++Now do something very, very special. If you can, draw your loved ones around you, join in a very close circle or a cluster and hold each other. BE close enough to one another so that you can feel their breath on your face. If they live far away, call them right now or tonight, and let them know how utterly wonderful and special they are. When you have done one or the other or both, you will have taken care of what is really basic and important. Nobody can take that away from us.
The Stock Market trembled and is still shaking, leaving many now retired, and some yet to be, anxious about their economics and frail in their hopes for some kind of assurance and security.
So it is not surprising that a simple two word question, "Now what?" leaps from our lips. Certainty is not very certain these days. Security, a word used by politicians, sounds dry and unpromising. We would like to have the calming confidence that someone, somehow, some way could bring about a national sense of honor and duty and responsibility. Wouldn't it be great to experience the sense of what a warm handshake once communicated: "you can count on me!"
Now what? Here are my weak suggestions from six decades of living, four of preaching, a lifetime of believing, a great sense of hoping, and a genuine regard for the struggles of life and our ability to overcome them:
First, the Don'ts.....
+Do not panic. Do not act precipitously or anxiously. Use good judgment, but be careful who you trust.
+Do not grab at straws! There will be those out there ready to take advantage of the moment and make it even worse than it may seem, right now.
+Do not bury your savings in a coffee can or hide them under a mattress.
+Do not be uniformed. Keep up with what is going on. Don't trust the politicians' formulas, without reading more than the headlines. Stay in touch with your congressperson and Senator.
+Don't lose sleep. Tomorrow will dawn and the Stock Market will open. Let tomorrow's concerns be sufficient unto themselves.
Now, for some Dos:
+Do keep your health in reasonable condition. Allow your breathing to be slow and measured. Stay with your exercise regimen. Talk about something other than the crises affecting all of us.
+Do check on persons whom you know to be worriers. Give them a shot of optimism.
+Do listen to and read accounts from other than highly biased commentators and columnists.
+Do watch out for the apocalyptic preachers who are in it for the bad times. They would wish us to believe "it is all over but the shouting." That is hopeless and faithless garbage.
++Now do something very, very special. If you can, draw your loved ones around you, join in a very close circle or a cluster and hold each other. BE close enough to one another so that you can feel their breath on your face. If they live far away, call them right now or tonight, and let them know how utterly wonderful and special they are. When you have done one or the other or both, you will have taken care of what is really basic and important. Nobody can take that away from us.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Retirement’s Boundless Opportunities and Wide Open Doors
In a recent conversation with a friend of more than 50 years, I invited her to share some ideas with me about how she might envision my spending the rest of my retirement years. She was, as she always is, gracious in her response. I list here the ideas she shared with me. Maybe, you have friends who would offer you similar motivations in considering the investment of yourself in ways not previously seriously considered. She is perceptive enough, and has known me long and well enough, to put together the possibilities with the characteristics that define me as a person. So, if you are fortunate enough to be in such a friendship, then push for someone to offer you their objective perceptions of where you might head on your next road in life’s unfolding adventures.
At first, she shared this list with me verbally. When I prevailed upon her to email me her list and asked for permission to reprint it here, she was kind enough to allow that. Thanks, Judy! Her list included these ideas:
“You obviously enjoy writing, and you're good at it--so give yourself permission to write that book. Write your autobiography, a family history, a collection of short stories, the great American novel. If not now, when?
“You like dogs so--raise purebred puppies, enter dog shows, win championships! Become a dog show judge! Or volunteer at the humane society.
“Take classes--art? woodworking? gourmet cooking? Learn something new, try something you've thought about but never had time to do.
“Learn to play a musical instrument, if you don't already.
“Learn a second language.
“Become a certified master gardener.
“Build a greenhouse, collect rare plants. Grow orchids and you'll always have something beautiful blooming for your home.
“Become an authority on something. Antique toys or rare books come to mind. Open a shop specializing in that item--you could find another retiree to staff it and you could travel the country searching out your inventory. Or sell what you can bear to part with on EBay.
“If the real estate market in Scottsdale is sufficiently depressed, consider buying properties in Scottsdale that need refurbishing or TLC, renovate them and hold for a profit when the market recovers (it will eventually).
”Last but not least, keep in touch with old friends back home!”
Now, that’s what I call a real friend.
At first, she shared this list with me verbally. When I prevailed upon her to email me her list and asked for permission to reprint it here, she was kind enough to allow that. Thanks, Judy! Her list included these ideas:
“You obviously enjoy writing, and you're good at it--so give yourself permission to write that book. Write your autobiography, a family history, a collection of short stories, the great American novel. If not now, when?
“You like dogs so--raise purebred puppies, enter dog shows, win championships! Become a dog show judge! Or volunteer at the humane society.
“Take classes--art? woodworking? gourmet cooking? Learn something new, try something you've thought about but never had time to do.
“Learn to play a musical instrument, if you don't already.
“Learn a second language.
“Become a certified master gardener.
“Build a greenhouse, collect rare plants. Grow orchids and you'll always have something beautiful blooming for your home.
“Become an authority on something. Antique toys or rare books come to mind. Open a shop specializing in that item--you could find another retiree to staff it and you could travel the country searching out your inventory. Or sell what you can bear to part with on EBay.
“If the real estate market in Scottsdale is sufficiently depressed, consider buying properties in Scottsdale that need refurbishing or TLC, renovate them and hold for a profit when the market recovers (it will eventually).
”Last but not least, keep in touch with old friends back home!”
Now, that’s what I call a real friend.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Rules of Engagement for Care Givers and Receivers
A series of rules which may be useful in keeping lines of communication and caring open is offered to those who are willing to assume the discipline of persistent and patient attention for those important in our lives.
Rule One: Do not abandon your aging parent(s)! No matter your age, if your parents are beginning to show signs of dependency, be sure you refer to this rule daily.
Rule Two: Do not forget, ignore, or procrastinate on Rule One. It's easy to do. But, every lost moment with a parent, or some other aging acquaintance, is a moment lost forever. When my favorite aunt died, I realized how many times I had avoided just stopping by, always assuming I would be less busy "next time." Now the joy of her humor, the spice of her wit are only held in memory.
These rules are essential to the welfare of the giver and the receiver. The receiver gets so much out of the attention, presence and thoughtfulness of the giver. The giver is given the satisfaction of discovering how emotionally healthy a thing it is to give.
So, a day comes when you don't stop by. Well, it is time then for Rule 3: Do not let a day go by without calling. The telephone is still an important link for communication. Or, if not the telephone, and your receiver is computer savvy, how about instant messaging or email?
Essential to caring for a receiver is to share with them loads of caring. I don't always have lots of news to share with my Mother during the nightly call, but we love the sound of one another's voice, the sense that, at least briefly, we touched each other today. Do it! Don't let anything else interfere.
Rule 4: For so long as it is possible, give your care receiver the opportunity to take the initiative to be in touch with you. Such initiative requires mental exercise and acumen necessary to good mental health.
Today's reminder: :Pick up the phone and give the gift that says you "care enough to be the very best" to those important in your life.
Rule One: Do not abandon your aging parent(s)! No matter your age, if your parents are beginning to show signs of dependency, be sure you refer to this rule daily.
Rule Two: Do not forget, ignore, or procrastinate on Rule One. It's easy to do. But, every lost moment with a parent, or some other aging acquaintance, is a moment lost forever. When my favorite aunt died, I realized how many times I had avoided just stopping by, always assuming I would be less busy "next time." Now the joy of her humor, the spice of her wit are only held in memory.
These rules are essential to the welfare of the giver and the receiver. The receiver gets so much out of the attention, presence and thoughtfulness of the giver. The giver is given the satisfaction of discovering how emotionally healthy a thing it is to give.
So, a day comes when you don't stop by. Well, it is time then for Rule 3: Do not let a day go by without calling. The telephone is still an important link for communication. Or, if not the telephone, and your receiver is computer savvy, how about instant messaging or email?
Essential to caring for a receiver is to share with them loads of caring. I don't always have lots of news to share with my Mother during the nightly call, but we love the sound of one another's voice, the sense that, at least briefly, we touched each other today. Do it! Don't let anything else interfere.
Rule 4: For so long as it is possible, give your care receiver the opportunity to take the initiative to be in touch with you. Such initiative requires mental exercise and acumen necessary to good mental health.
Today's reminder: :Pick up the phone and give the gift that says you "care enough to be the very best" to those important in your life.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
After Ike: The Pathos and Pain of Disaster
After Ike, those of us less affected than many went about the routine of minor clean up. It didn't take long. There were limbs strewn about the property, leaves down in clumps, all the patio furniture had to be put back in place. But imagine, no trees, no leaves, no patio!
Imagine nothing being where something was. Imagine the utter helplessness. Listen to the cries, again, for help and hope. Stand in soggy shoes and look to the horizon, where for miles there is nothing but devastation. Imagine the sense of absolute hopelessness.
Listen to the stories, the heartaches, the despair. Listen to the need, just for water or food. Listen to the wind, now subsided, but tremble in fear because it reminds you of what wind can do.
Awaken the senses to smell the odor and decay. Taste the bitterness of defeat. See the agony of deep hurt. Hear the sobbing.
Now, settle back into your lounger and be comfortable, if you can. It will take days and weeks and months and years for some to be able to do that. It will take sleepless nights and the growl of hunger to get through what's ahead. It will take being courageous in the presence of your children and your family and your friends. Tears won't stop. The ache won't quit. There is an epidemic of despair for those so brutally affected.
Avoid cliches. For this is no cliche. This is real and present and dangerous. It has broken men and women and they aren't smiling right now. It has scarred children. It has changed the land.
What, so far away, am I to do? How may I render Samaritan like aid to someone, somewhere who now feels like no one, nowhere?
The answers lie within the depth of our hearts and souls and minds. No more shirking our responsibility, no more easy answers, no more fear based religion or politics, no more! It is time to call on the essential fabric of our humanity. It is time we cared more for someone else, whether hit by a sudden disaster or affected by the daily ones. No more idle talk about "the poor and why they deserve their fate." No more callous disregard for those whose lives are in tatters. No more.
John Donne put it: "Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, the bell tolls for thee" and me.
Imagine nothing being where something was. Imagine the utter helplessness. Listen to the cries, again, for help and hope. Stand in soggy shoes and look to the horizon, where for miles there is nothing but devastation. Imagine the sense of absolute hopelessness.
Listen to the stories, the heartaches, the despair. Listen to the need, just for water or food. Listen to the wind, now subsided, but tremble in fear because it reminds you of what wind can do.
Awaken the senses to smell the odor and decay. Taste the bitterness of defeat. See the agony of deep hurt. Hear the sobbing.
Now, settle back into your lounger and be comfortable, if you can. It will take days and weeks and months and years for some to be able to do that. It will take sleepless nights and the growl of hunger to get through what's ahead. It will take being courageous in the presence of your children and your family and your friends. Tears won't stop. The ache won't quit. There is an epidemic of despair for those so brutally affected.
Avoid cliches. For this is no cliche. This is real and present and dangerous. It has broken men and women and they aren't smiling right now. It has scarred children. It has changed the land.
What, so far away, am I to do? How may I render Samaritan like aid to someone, somewhere who now feels like no one, nowhere?
The answers lie within the depth of our hearts and souls and minds. No more shirking our responsibility, no more easy answers, no more fear based religion or politics, no more! It is time to call on the essential fabric of our humanity. It is time we cared more for someone else, whether hit by a sudden disaster or affected by the daily ones. No more idle talk about "the poor and why they deserve their fate." No more callous disregard for those whose lives are in tatters. No more.
John Donne put it: "Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, the bell tolls for thee" and me.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Politics and Medicine: What They Have in Common
Fortunately, I haven't had to choose a brain surgeon yet. But, if I did I would have a careful list of criteria that would need to be met. That list would take several things into account.
>What training, where and by whom has the individual had?
>How long has he/she been at it?
>What is his/her reputation among peers?
>What is his/her bedside manner?
>How does he/she deal with my questions and concerns?
Finally, what about EXPERIENCE ?
David Brooks, a columnist with the New York Times, pointed out in his editorial yesterday that
"...the founders used the word "experience" 91 times in the Federalist papers." He pointed out that "democracy is not average people selecting average leaders. It is average people with the wisdom to select the best prepared." Sound counsel!
So when selecting a brain surgeon or a mechanic to rebuild your car's engine or a wise leader to run the country, don't you think experience counts? Experentia docet (experience teaches) is the Latin phrase I still remember from High School, back when we still had the opportunity to learn the dead language.
Of course, experience alone is not the only criteria. As I have pointed out above, a brain surgeon needs to bring skill, but also patience, and kindness, and preparation and insight and knowledge and wisdom and forthrightness and sensitivity and hope. It seems these are qualities useful in a politician as well.
Probably one of the most important characteristics is to be able to be honest and straight forward, to tell the truth to me, when I need to hear it. While I may not like the message, I would surely appreciate and respect having someone tell me what I need to know. I am perfectly capable acting on that information.
Please Mr. McCain, Ms Palin, Mr. Obama and Mr. Biden tell us the truth and we will be able to handle it.
>What training, where and by whom has the individual had?
>How long has he/she been at it?
>What is his/her reputation among peers?
>What is his/her bedside manner?
>How does he/she deal with my questions and concerns?
Finally, what about EXPERIENCE ?
David Brooks, a columnist with the New York Times, pointed out in his editorial yesterday that
"...the founders used the word "experience" 91 times in the Federalist papers." He pointed out that "democracy is not average people selecting average leaders. It is average people with the wisdom to select the best prepared." Sound counsel!
So when selecting a brain surgeon or a mechanic to rebuild your car's engine or a wise leader to run the country, don't you think experience counts? Experentia docet (experience teaches) is the Latin phrase I still remember from High School, back when we still had the opportunity to learn the dead language.
Of course, experience alone is not the only criteria. As I have pointed out above, a brain surgeon needs to bring skill, but also patience, and kindness, and preparation and insight and knowledge and wisdom and forthrightness and sensitivity and hope. It seems these are qualities useful in a politician as well.
Probably one of the most important characteristics is to be able to be honest and straight forward, to tell the truth to me, when I need to hear it. While I may not like the message, I would surely appreciate and respect having someone tell me what I need to know. I am perfectly capable acting on that information.
Please Mr. McCain, Ms Palin, Mr. Obama and Mr. Biden tell us the truth and we will be able to handle it.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Retirement: The Difference Between Money and Wealth
"By the time you get to be my age, you want to know just how many of the people who love you, actually do love you!" Warren Buffett, the sage of Omaha and originator of this quote, was an acquaintance from our 20 years in that wonderful Midwestern city. His wife Susie, now deceased, was heavily involved in a number of community organizations. She was a true friend and a wonderful advocate of the disenfranchised.
So, over the years, I have always been intrigued with the goings on of this man and his circle. He lives in a home on Farnam street, not ostentatious, but practical. He is a remarkable and impressive human being. He and a pal exercised his financial brilliance by setting up pin ball machines in barber shops. From there, he developed his wealth and acumen as a world class financier and "world's richest person." It is his wealth that distinguishes him for some.
What I admire about him is the quote above. He knows where his priorities are. He has succeeded stupendously. He is an international personality. More important, he is a generous and good man.
Some ask, when I reveal our having known him, only slightly, whether I wish I had invested with him. Well, that would have been smart and nice. I guess I'm not too smart. The nice part I will never miss, because I didn't. But, what I am glad of is that I knew him and I find in his life discipline a lot of very powerful lessons. Much has been written and reported about him. Most of that has to do with his "financial genius."
But, what I find appealing is his bottom line caring for his family, his long term colleagues, his thoughtful judgment, his love of Coke and See's Candies, and his dedication to a town that has been his home his whole life.
In a person like him, one needs to look beyond the stars in one's eyes, and see the deep down, extraordinary goodness of this remarkable human being.
He is featured on AOL today with a list of 10 suggestions to help one make wise decisions about finances. I think it speaks to our need to have such counsel to make better decisions about everything in our day to day lives. Thank you, Mr. Buffett.
So, over the years, I have always been intrigued with the goings on of this man and his circle. He lives in a home on Farnam street, not ostentatious, but practical. He is a remarkable and impressive human being. He and a pal exercised his financial brilliance by setting up pin ball machines in barber shops. From there, he developed his wealth and acumen as a world class financier and "world's richest person." It is his wealth that distinguishes him for some.
What I admire about him is the quote above. He knows where his priorities are. He has succeeded stupendously. He is an international personality. More important, he is a generous and good man.
Some ask, when I reveal our having known him, only slightly, whether I wish I had invested with him. Well, that would have been smart and nice. I guess I'm not too smart. The nice part I will never miss, because I didn't. But, what I am glad of is that I knew him and I find in his life discipline a lot of very powerful lessons. Much has been written and reported about him. Most of that has to do with his "financial genius."
But, what I find appealing is his bottom line caring for his family, his long term colleagues, his thoughtful judgment, his love of Coke and See's Candies, and his dedication to a town that has been his home his whole life.
In a person like him, one needs to look beyond the stars in one's eyes, and see the deep down, extraordinary goodness of this remarkable human being.
He is featured on AOL today with a list of 10 suggestions to help one make wise decisions about finances. I think it speaks to our need to have such counsel to make better decisions about everything in our day to day lives. Thank you, Mr. Buffett.
Monday, September 15, 2008
An Ill Wind Blowing: A Plea for Reason and True Goodness in America
"It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good," exclaimed John Heywood in 1546. Perhaps today's news suggests the veracity and tenacity of this antique proverb. Ill winds seem to be blowing rather ferociously these days. The storms that affect so many and so much, the financial markets that plunge so deeply, the evidence of consequences of ethical and moral and legal and political and financial choices seem to be battering the world's psyche.
Head in the sand types will look the other way, hope for a simplistic solution and imagine themselves as acting out of some kind of so called and suspect religious motivation. Rationality seems to be at the bottom of our list of behaviors.
Maybe, just maybe, we think some new American Idol personality will make it alright. Maybe, if we revert to type and act out school yard behavior, we will end up okay. Maybe, if we just believe the worst of the best and settle for the best of the worst we will survive. Somehow, I don't think so.
Those on the Texas coast who chose not to evacuate are good people. They just used bad judgment. So are we as we face the plethora of politics and its attendant confusions. We too aren't bad people, we just can't seem to make very good choices. The last eight years, which is about the amount of time it takes to earn a PhD, surely should have taught us something.
Yet, blindly, we are like lemmings heading for the cliffs.
The news this morning doesn't tell the whole story. For there is, in the breast of all, a beating heart that yearns for REASON. There is inside the whole of us, a conscience, a spirit, a deep seated desire to find the best and be the best. So, tempted by the sin of cynicism, let us ward off that debilitating choice by looking to the good. Let us find the good which can buttress us from "ill winds blowing."
Head in the sand types will look the other way, hope for a simplistic solution and imagine themselves as acting out of some kind of so called and suspect religious motivation. Rationality seems to be at the bottom of our list of behaviors.
Maybe, just maybe, we think some new American Idol personality will make it alright. Maybe, if we revert to type and act out school yard behavior, we will end up okay. Maybe, if we just believe the worst of the best and settle for the best of the worst we will survive. Somehow, I don't think so.
Those on the Texas coast who chose not to evacuate are good people. They just used bad judgment. So are we as we face the plethora of politics and its attendant confusions. We too aren't bad people, we just can't seem to make very good choices. The last eight years, which is about the amount of time it takes to earn a PhD, surely should have taught us something.
Yet, blindly, we are like lemmings heading for the cliffs.
The news this morning doesn't tell the whole story. For there is, in the breast of all, a beating heart that yearns for REASON. There is inside the whole of us, a conscience, a spirit, a deep seated desire to find the best and be the best. So, tempted by the sin of cynicism, let us ward off that debilitating choice by looking to the good. Let us find the good which can buttress us from "ill winds blowing."
Friday, September 12, 2008
The Id in Idealism and The Cyn in Cynicism
Idealism is a quality to be cultivated and nurtured. It is the idealist who helps us see things as they might be. It is the nature of some to be optimistic, upbeat, and encouraging. Usually, such personalities attract attention, respect and affection. Is it because they are always giving off similar signals to others? Sorting out the id, a person's inherited, unconscious psychological impulses, and the cyn (sin) in cynicism (believing the worst) one needs to work hard at coming to a state of openness.
While cynicism is often all the rage, particularly in an election cycle, it surely is not representative of the best within us. Idealism is! So, choosing behaviors, which seems to be the one most suited to your disposition? Sure, it's easy to pile on and denigrate and downplay, and arouse suspicion and fear. Of course, there are those whose paranoia loves to be fed and in great quantity. Naturally, there will be some who, even if the sky is blue and the sun is bright, will insist a storm is surely on its way.
During the next several weeks we will be tested to determine what the shape and nature of our collective lives will look like. In choosing leaders, we are saying a lot about ourselves. In siding with one point of view, we are also choosing to reject the other. The choices are complex, often troubling, and influenced by innuendo and even misrepresentation. So how do we sort it all out? How do we get to the place that our idealism is confirmed by how we vote? How do we arrive at the moment when we are sure that our choice, for us, is one we can live with?
+Read, read, read! And then research what has been read. I have been found with egg on my face on several occasions when I have concluded the veracity of some information or another and sent it on as "truth." I even checked it out on Snopes.com, only to find no reference to the particular issue....until the next day.....when my mistake was revealed.
+Converse with others. Their point of view may be helpful in developing your own. But....
+Avoid being a copycat or Believing everything you see, hear, read on the Internet or from Television or in Newspapers and Magazines. Remember, they have biases too.
+Filter your own views through the prism of rational decision making, careful thought, prudent insights, unemotional and objective processing.
+Don't get too worked up! It will likely cost you embarrassment and loss of friendships.
+Be prepared to listen. But, if uncomfortable in a discussion, find an appropriate way to absent yourself from the discussion.
+Finally, pray. This year the expression of an informed electorate is extremely important and necessary. We are entering into an era unprecedented. We need to be reinforced with a systematic understanding of what the consequences could be.
And, above all else, be sure you are registered to vote and do so on or before November 4.
While cynicism is often all the rage, particularly in an election cycle, it surely is not representative of the best within us. Idealism is! So, choosing behaviors, which seems to be the one most suited to your disposition? Sure, it's easy to pile on and denigrate and downplay, and arouse suspicion and fear. Of course, there are those whose paranoia loves to be fed and in great quantity. Naturally, there will be some who, even if the sky is blue and the sun is bright, will insist a storm is surely on its way.
During the next several weeks we will be tested to determine what the shape and nature of our collective lives will look like. In choosing leaders, we are saying a lot about ourselves. In siding with one point of view, we are also choosing to reject the other. The choices are complex, often troubling, and influenced by innuendo and even misrepresentation. So how do we sort it all out? How do we get to the place that our idealism is confirmed by how we vote? How do we arrive at the moment when we are sure that our choice, for us, is one we can live with?
+Read, read, read! And then research what has been read. I have been found with egg on my face on several occasions when I have concluded the veracity of some information or another and sent it on as "truth." I even checked it out on Snopes.com, only to find no reference to the particular issue....until the next day.....when my mistake was revealed.
+Converse with others. Their point of view may be helpful in developing your own. But....
+Avoid being a copycat or Believing everything you see, hear, read on the Internet or from Television or in Newspapers and Magazines. Remember, they have biases too.
+Filter your own views through the prism of rational decision making, careful thought, prudent insights, unemotional and objective processing.
+Don't get too worked up! It will likely cost you embarrassment and loss of friendships.
+Be prepared to listen. But, if uncomfortable in a discussion, find an appropriate way to absent yourself from the discussion.
+Finally, pray. This year the expression of an informed electorate is extremely important and necessary. We are entering into an era unprecedented. We need to be reinforced with a systematic understanding of what the consequences could be.
And, above all else, be sure you are registered to vote and do so on or before November 4.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Be a Litter Quitter
Life on a rural county road has numerous benefits. Tranquility, little traffic, reduced pollution and noise, no sirens, and few neighbors. My "Walden Pond' is an idyllic place. A friend says that if they would just pave the road gold, that runs alongside his acreage, he wouldn't have to die and go to heaven.
In spite of all that, there are a few downsides. One is the amount of litter that accumulates in a half mile stretch from one end of the roadside to the other. It is this stretch that I have chosen to adopt. No sign indicates that it is my role and responsibility to keep it free of litter. But, faithfully, every Monday, which is garbage collection day, I choose to hop into my golf cart to scour the area. Frequently, I find a dozen cans and bottles, an occasionally empty cigarette package, a few Big Gulp containers and sundry other items.
Once I decided to post signs at both ends of the roadway. They read: BE A LITTER QUITTER. It seems to have worked. The volume of litter has been reduced, even though the signs are no longer posted.
I think the absence of litter gets some folk's attention. I think they notice, often at a sub conscious level, that the roadway looks better absent any litter. It may be that there is a small nudge of conscience that helps folk decide not to toss it out the window, but to wait until one can put it in a trash container.
The official state motto for discouraging litter in Texas is "Don't Mess with Texas.'' Signs remind us of that on state and national highways. But, for those who travel the back roads, we are left to our own initiatives to keep the litter down. Once in awhile, a judge will impose a parolee to community service cleaning up county roadways. It works and helps a lot.
Wherever you live I hope you will encourage your neighbors, by your example, to "be a litter quitter."
In spite of all that, there are a few downsides. One is the amount of litter that accumulates in a half mile stretch from one end of the roadside to the other. It is this stretch that I have chosen to adopt. No sign indicates that it is my role and responsibility to keep it free of litter. But, faithfully, every Monday, which is garbage collection day, I choose to hop into my golf cart to scour the area. Frequently, I find a dozen cans and bottles, an occasionally empty cigarette package, a few Big Gulp containers and sundry other items.
Once I decided to post signs at both ends of the roadway. They read: BE A LITTER QUITTER. It seems to have worked. The volume of litter has been reduced, even though the signs are no longer posted.
I think the absence of litter gets some folk's attention. I think they notice, often at a sub conscious level, that the roadway looks better absent any litter. It may be that there is a small nudge of conscience that helps folk decide not to toss it out the window, but to wait until one can put it in a trash container.
The official state motto for discouraging litter in Texas is "Don't Mess with Texas.'' Signs remind us of that on state and national highways. But, for those who travel the back roads, we are left to our own initiatives to keep the litter down. Once in awhile, a judge will impose a parolee to community service cleaning up county roadways. It works and helps a lot.
Wherever you live I hope you will encourage your neighbors, by your example, to "be a litter quitter."
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Senior Health: Sudoku, Scrabble and Chess
Mental Stimulation, like exercise, becomes increasingly more important as one ages. And, the good news is, that in our well wired and curious culture there are wonderful ways to stimulate one's mind.
It is fascinating that, not unlike adolescents, seniors often cave in to the "there is nothing to do" syndrome. But, there is. Now whether there is desire, motivation, and willingness to discover the many options, is quite another thing.
Sudoku, Scrabble, Chess, a virtual box full of games and thought stimulating exercises are literally available at one's finger tips. And, the good news? You can play them in the privacy of your home, with no one present but you and your computer.
So, don't let "rainy days and Mondays" get you down. Get in there, wander around, seek and search and eventually find that retinue which will follow you in discovering and sharing common interests . Your assignment, if you choose to accept it, is to investigate, explore, uncover, penetrate the wide variety of possibilities. I leave to you the initiative and the specific areas of interest which may catch your eye.
You and your new friends will thank me. Trust me!
It is fascinating that, not unlike adolescents, seniors often cave in to the "there is nothing to do" syndrome. But, there is. Now whether there is desire, motivation, and willingness to discover the many options, is quite another thing.
Sudoku, Scrabble, Chess, a virtual box full of games and thought stimulating exercises are literally available at one's finger tips. And, the good news? You can play them in the privacy of your home, with no one present but you and your computer.
So, don't let "rainy days and Mondays" get you down. Get in there, wander around, seek and search and eventually find that retinue which will follow you in discovering and sharing common interests . Your assignment, if you choose to accept it, is to investigate, explore, uncover, penetrate the wide variety of possibilities. I leave to you the initiative and the specific areas of interest which may catch your eye.
You and your new friends will thank me. Trust me!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Birthdays and Anniversaries: Celebrate!
This month marks the occasion of some very significant dates. You won't find these dates marked in red on your calendar, no holiday falls on them, no great hoopla occurs around them. They are just dates of mostly ordinary, very conscientious and respected people.
In this case the dates are the birth of my father, now deceased, and the 72nd anniversary of my parents, marriage (my mother will be 89 in November). Dad would be 93 this year. He has been gone for 13 years. I still miss him. His absence is no reason not to celebrate his day. The way I do that is to reflect on how precious he still is to me.
The anniversary is easier to overlook. After all, the marriage ended upon his death. I don't think so. I think that marriage will remain a part of the very soul and fibre of those of us who benefited from it.
It's common to engage in congratulations and celebrations of friends and family who are still around. Why should it not be just so common for us to celebrate those whose life is past, but whose spirit is still very much alive. Why not light a candle on the day of the event. Let it burn all day to remind all in the house (even if it is only you) of this extraordinary day.
Or throw a party. Who says the guest of honor has to be present? Invite those who remember and allow a time for shared reflection.
My guess is the intentional exercise of your own memory will bring a flood of joy and maybe some tears. That's really okay. It will likely serve as a cleansing of your soul and an energizing of your spirit, not to mention the flight your heart will likely take.
In this case the dates are the birth of my father, now deceased, and the 72nd anniversary of my parents, marriage (my mother will be 89 in November). Dad would be 93 this year. He has been gone for 13 years. I still miss him. His absence is no reason not to celebrate his day. The way I do that is to reflect on how precious he still is to me.
The anniversary is easier to overlook. After all, the marriage ended upon his death. I don't think so. I think that marriage will remain a part of the very soul and fibre of those of us who benefited from it.
It's common to engage in congratulations and celebrations of friends and family who are still around. Why should it not be just so common for us to celebrate those whose life is past, but whose spirit is still very much alive. Why not light a candle on the day of the event. Let it burn all day to remind all in the house (even if it is only you) of this extraordinary day.
Or throw a party. Who says the guest of honor has to be present? Invite those who remember and allow a time for shared reflection.
My guess is the intentional exercise of your own memory will bring a flood of joy and maybe some tears. That's really okay. It will likely serve as a cleansing of your soul and an energizing of your spirit, not to mention the flight your heart will likely take.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Retirement: Find Money in Unexpected Places
It took a long time to begin sorting through and actually using coupons. But, now it seems practical and prudent. It took even longer to decide to be disciplined about returning items not needed, often bought on impulse.
Often, when renewal deadlines loom, like getting the car inspected, paying bills before the due date, having your car serviced before 5k miles...all seem to be "responsible" things to do. Except: it costs you money. Keep and use your money before the penalty sets in. Don't give the state an extra month of your inspection sticker. Auto manufacturers are saying that 5000 miles is a goal, not necessarily a mandate.
So, you have begun to find money in unexpected places.
Often, when renewal deadlines loom, like getting the car inspected, paying bills before the due date, having your car serviced before 5k miles...all seem to be "responsible" things to do. Except: it costs you money. Keep and use your money before the penalty sets in. Don't give the state an extra month of your inspection sticker. Auto manufacturers are saying that 5000 miles is a goal, not necessarily a mandate.
So, you have begun to find money in unexpected places.
- The Internet and magazines are often full of offers to save money. It just takes time to sort through them and to read the small print. For every $100 spent on groceries, at some stores a ten-cent discount per gallon is offered.
- Changing buying habits will reap many benefits. Instead of buying the nationally advertised brand, look for the store brand. Compare quality. Read labels. Be aware of quantity (some items are being reduced in size, but price remains the same). Save money!
- Look out for gimmicks as in "ten items for a dollar per item." Sounds good, but is it? Check out sales. Ask questions, how does a merchandiser make money when offering items at 70 to 90% off. Avoid buying "stuff" near to the check out line, e.g. candy, gum, national expose' magazines, etc.
- Consolidate trips. Make one trip which includes a mapped out plan to hit all the errands you must run. Buy gas at the end of the errands, so you have a full tank on the way home.
- Browse stores for special bins of "specials" or close outs.
- Watch out for the $19.99 plus shipping and handling offers on television. Avoid the temptation to have one of everything.
- Remove your name from unwanted solicitation lists.
- Oh, and by the way, check the air pressure in your tires. Carrying more pressure increases your gas mileage.
You will be surprised, if you look, at how much money can be found in unexpected places.
Friday, September 5, 2008
How to Start Your Day Laughing!
Among my very best friends are those who send humorous, really, genuinely humorous, emails. One came which started my morning. It was a thank you for all the emails that had been sent to warn of lurking dangers and inexplicable disasters. It truly is funny. I love to laugh like that. In the quiet of my study, it is easy to guffaw without offending anyone.
Particularly is such exercise good for the endorphins. Norman Cousins, author of "Anatomy of an Illness," was among the first real seers who helped us see the value of humor. He refused to be held captive by the confines of illness or even hospital care. He ordered up loads of videos and watched the shenanigans of Laurel and Hardy, Chaplin, Buster Keaton, et al. The result: he recovered faster than anticipated. The medicine that did it: laughter!
One needn't be ill to take advantage of the therapeutic qualities of humor and laughter. As in my experience this morning, it just started my day right, gave me a chance to realize I was taking the day's challenges too seriously. Lighten up and Laugh is good counsel.
Here are some ways to provoke laughter and improve your humor quotient:
>Stay in touch with friends who help you laugh.
>Look for humor everywhere.
>Avoid too much cable news and shouting heads.
>Look for the subtle humor in everything. Be careful, not everyone will be ready for your insights.
>Check the timing in the way you tell stories. Don't give away the punch line too soon.
>Exercise your brain by finding ways to remember really good jokes and stories that are appropriate for all kinds of occasions.
>Laughter is infectious. Help make it epidemic.
>Be careful not to repeat the same story to the same people. That is not humor, it is boredom.
>Allow others in on the action. You aren't the only one with a good story.
>Tell your stories to a variety of persons, discover your own style to help the story be funny.
>Find humor in everyday situations, personal foibles and experiences. It will humble you.
Now, tell me, don't you feel better already?
Particularly is such exercise good for the endorphins. Norman Cousins, author of "Anatomy of an Illness," was among the first real seers who helped us see the value of humor. He refused to be held captive by the confines of illness or even hospital care. He ordered up loads of videos and watched the shenanigans of Laurel and Hardy, Chaplin, Buster Keaton, et al. The result: he recovered faster than anticipated. The medicine that did it: laughter!
One needn't be ill to take advantage of the therapeutic qualities of humor and laughter. As in my experience this morning, it just started my day right, gave me a chance to realize I was taking the day's challenges too seriously. Lighten up and Laugh is good counsel.
Here are some ways to provoke laughter and improve your humor quotient:
>Stay in touch with friends who help you laugh.
>Look for humor everywhere.
>Avoid too much cable news and shouting heads.
>Look for the subtle humor in everything. Be careful, not everyone will be ready for your insights.
>Check the timing in the way you tell stories. Don't give away the punch line too soon.
>Exercise your brain by finding ways to remember really good jokes and stories that are appropriate for all kinds of occasions.
>Laughter is infectious. Help make it epidemic.
>Be careful not to repeat the same story to the same people. That is not humor, it is boredom.
>Allow others in on the action. You aren't the only one with a good story.
>Tell your stories to a variety of persons, discover your own style to help the story be funny.
>Find humor in everyday situations, personal foibles and experiences. It will humble you.
Now, tell me, don't you feel better already?
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Retirement: Changing Habits and Habitat
Two of the adjustments that often come with retirement involve changing habits and habitat. Not everyone moves from their home, but many choose to resettle elsewhere. Habitat change is an upheaval that some choose not to go through.
Habits, however, are a universal phenomena in retirement. Our day to day routine for the newly retired is met with "what am I going to do" with my time. There are as many answers as there are retirees. But, it is not always easy to come up with answers that are really satisfying and fulfilling.
Instead of answering the obvious, I suggest a frame of mind for approaching the task of Changing Habits.
>Establish a workable routine. Avoid ruts, but have a clear road map for day to day activities.
>Agree with your spouse what your role will be now that you are no longer in the employed world.
>Of course, you may choose to find employment. If so, do it with a sense of what you can learn and enjoy.
>Recognize that answering the "what can I do" question will come frequently.
>Explore arenas untested before. Try your hand at new things. Don't be bashful. You are not being graded for outcome. Fail happily!
>Find new acquaintances whose situation and interests parallel your own.
>Stay away from the TV as an excuse for something to do.
>Read!
>Discover new ways to assure your health needs (mental, physical, psychological) are met.
>Look at your own spirituality. Choose to embrace one which will enrich you and give others inspiration.
>Avoid pessimism and negativism at all costs.
>Avoid complaining about your health, the world, and anything else which will drive people away from you.
>Commit yourself to having fun, no matter what!
Now, you are ready to look at the specifics for retirement. Deliberate Carefully, Choose Well, Prepare to enjoy yourself and your new life!
Habits, however, are a universal phenomena in retirement. Our day to day routine for the newly retired is met with "what am I going to do" with my time. There are as many answers as there are retirees. But, it is not always easy to come up with answers that are really satisfying and fulfilling.
Instead of answering the obvious, I suggest a frame of mind for approaching the task of Changing Habits.
>Establish a workable routine. Avoid ruts, but have a clear road map for day to day activities.
>Agree with your spouse what your role will be now that you are no longer in the employed world.
>Of course, you may choose to find employment. If so, do it with a sense of what you can learn and enjoy.
>Recognize that answering the "what can I do" question will come frequently.
>Explore arenas untested before. Try your hand at new things. Don't be bashful. You are not being graded for outcome. Fail happily!
>Find new acquaintances whose situation and interests parallel your own.
>Stay away from the TV as an excuse for something to do.
>Read!
>Discover new ways to assure your health needs (mental, physical, psychological) are met.
>Look at your own spirituality. Choose to embrace one which will enrich you and give others inspiration.
>Avoid pessimism and negativism at all costs.
>Avoid complaining about your health, the world, and anything else which will drive people away from you.
>Commit yourself to having fun, no matter what!
Now, you are ready to look at the specifics for retirement. Deliberate Carefully, Choose Well, Prepare to enjoy yourself and your new life!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Marriage: What Have We Learned?
What joy remains! August 31 marked our wedding anniversary. It was 1975 and we blended a family, closed out my five years of being a bachelor since divorce, ended the single life for my spouse, who was then 32. It was, as most times are, a time of paradigm shifts.
Thirty-three years later, what has been learned from our experience?
>We have learned that love is to be nurtured, never taken for granted, always reinforced.
>We have learned that forgiveness is a quality to be exercised regularly.
>We have learned that there are frequent bumps in the road, requiring detours.
>We have learned that anger is never a solution to problems .
>We have learned how mellow life is when you continue to be in love.
>We have learned that our children are treasures, our grandchildren, gifts, our lives a
miracle.
>We have learned that living locations and accomodations are temporary.
>We have learned that loyalty and uncondtional love is permanent.
>We have learned that yesterday prepares us for today and today readies us for tomorrow.
>We have learned that finding joy and pleasure is easy when you do it together.
>We have learned that humor can be found in many of our behaviors and laughter is a balm.
>We have learned that the road ahead will have as many or more curves and perils as the road behind.
>We have learned that friends are a great part of what gives meaning to life.
>We have learned that the spirit requires enriching and there are a multitude of paths offered to enrich it.
>We have learned that learning is an important component of what keeps us young.
>We have learned that listening is a discipline and that we have two ears and one mouth.
>We have learned that the best gift we can offer others is our selves.
>We have learned that quiet meditation is a medication which heals much.
That is just what we have learned in 33 years. Can you imagine what our list will be in another 17? Make your list, take inventory of your learnings, and celebrate that you have time for learning more!
Thirty-three years later, what has been learned from our experience?
>We have learned that love is to be nurtured, never taken for granted, always reinforced.
>We have learned that forgiveness is a quality to be exercised regularly.
>We have learned that there are frequent bumps in the road, requiring detours.
>We have learned that anger is never a solution to problems .
>We have learned how mellow life is when you continue to be in love.
>We have learned that our children are treasures, our grandchildren, gifts, our lives a
miracle.
>We have learned that living locations and accomodations are temporary.
>We have learned that loyalty and uncondtional love is permanent.
>We have learned that yesterday prepares us for today and today readies us for tomorrow.
>We have learned that finding joy and pleasure is easy when you do it together.
>We have learned that humor can be found in many of our behaviors and laughter is a balm.
>We have learned that the road ahead will have as many or more curves and perils as the road behind.
>We have learned that friends are a great part of what gives meaning to life.
>We have learned that the spirit requires enriching and there are a multitude of paths offered to enrich it.
>We have learned that learning is an important component of what keeps us young.
>We have learned that listening is a discipline and that we have two ears and one mouth.
>We have learned that the best gift we can offer others is our selves.
>We have learned that quiet meditation is a medication which heals much.
That is just what we have learned in 33 years. Can you imagine what our list will be in another 17? Make your list, take inventory of your learnings, and celebrate that you have time for learning more!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
A Strong Wind Blowing!
The Book of Acts in the Good News version of the New Testament refers to the occasion of the first Pentecost after Jesus' death. Pentecost, a Jewish tradition, had been adopted and adapted by Christians. In the Christian tradition it falls on the seventh Sunday after Easter. The second chapter of Acts speaks of a "strong wind blowing." From that St. Paul deduced this occasion to have significant meaning to Christians and their theology.
Fast forward to the last several days. A "strong wind blowing" hit the Gulf with a mighty force, not leaving the path of destruction expected, but nonetheless getting our attention. Two more such events await on the southeastern coast. What are the messages and meanings in these episodes?
It occurs to me that, to the modern mind, it is a wake up call which reaffirms that major cataclysmic shifts are occurring in our world. It does not take a "meteorologist" to figure out that many of the major events that have taken place in our climate, weather, and global phenomena carry some significant signs for us.
These are not "will of or acts of God" moments, so much as they are wake up calls about our -behaviors and choices. While there are still many who deny any participation on the part of humans in our global condition, it seems clear that the rules of "consequences" and "cause and effect" are at work.
While it may seem too late to do much about it on an individual basis, it is not too late to do what Paul recommended to his followers. He used religious images and language to get the attention of his hearers. His word was: "repent." Repent means simply "change."
There need be no implications of "end of the world" scare tactics. It is more to our benefit to take on individual responsibility for heading off catastrophe than to continue to contribute to it by our behavior, our attitudes and even our "theology."
So, the next time you hear "a strong wind blowing" heed its reminder. Religion and Science are disciplines which give us information. Faith and rational intelligence help us to know what to do with that information.
Fast forward to the last several days. A "strong wind blowing" hit the Gulf with a mighty force, not leaving the path of destruction expected, but nonetheless getting our attention. Two more such events await on the southeastern coast. What are the messages and meanings in these episodes?
It occurs to me that, to the modern mind, it is a wake up call which reaffirms that major cataclysmic shifts are occurring in our world. It does not take a "meteorologist" to figure out that many of the major events that have taken place in our climate, weather, and global phenomena carry some significant signs for us.
These are not "will of or acts of God" moments, so much as they are wake up calls about our -behaviors and choices. While there are still many who deny any participation on the part of humans in our global condition, it seems clear that the rules of "consequences" and "cause and effect" are at work.
While it may seem too late to do much about it on an individual basis, it is not too late to do what Paul recommended to his followers. He used religious images and language to get the attention of his hearers. His word was: "repent." Repent means simply "change."
There need be no implications of "end of the world" scare tactics. It is more to our benefit to take on individual responsibility for heading off catastrophe than to continue to contribute to it by our behavior, our attitudes and even our "theology."
So, the next time you hear "a strong wind blowing" heed its reminder. Religion and Science are disciplines which give us information. Faith and rational intelligence help us to know what to do with that information.
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