Things I Wish I Had Said

There are many things I wish I had said as the year closes. Here are a few.

I wish I had said “I APPRECIATE YOU” more often. You have done much that goes unthanked. Much of what you have done was not done for me at all. But much of what you have done is never sufficiently recognized by others, often the very recipients of your caring. Someone, why shouldn’t it be me, should let you know that those unsung, unrecognized acts are appreciated. I wish I had told you then that I appreciate you.

I wish I had said “HAPPY BIRTHDAY.” I didn’t. But now, though it is likely past, I want you to know that I wish I had said it. Your birthday is important to you and it is important to others because it symbolizes your being. And without you, this world would be less.

I wish I had said “I CARE.” There were time when you, like all of us, need especially to hear that. Those “down days” when, on the percentage scale, more seems to go wrong than right. Had I said it probably wouldn’t have changed things a lot. But you would have known that someone does genuinely care.

I wish I had said “FORGIVE ME.” Although forgotten by me now, I expect that there were times when my own impetuousness and insensitivity contributed to your hurt. I may be guilty of that again. For now, anyway, know that I am sorry.

I wish I had said “HOW ARE YOU” and meant it, and deeply cared about your response.

I wish I had said “TELL ME ABOUT IT” when it was obvious you had some genuine desire to share a part of you, that special part, when something unique was happening in your life.

I wish I had said “THANK YOU” for the many kindnesses, thoughtful acts and generous considerations you have so often tendered. If I didn’t say it, I thought it. Now I am letting you know that.

I wish I had said “I MISS YOU.” Because there are many times when your absence hurts and your presence would make life brighter.

I wish I had said “I LOVE YOU.” Because, you know, I really do. And, though our paths cross at crazy times and our agendas are often different, and our lives mixed up with many, many details and the possibility of disagreement looms large between us, I remain interested in what contributes to your days.

I cannot promise I will say those things to you every time I would like next year. But I can promise that somehow I will know that I should have. It is that that motivates one more thing I wish I had said a year ago: “HAVE A CHRISTMAS OF JOY AND NEW YEAR OF PEACE.”