How Much Do You Love Your Kids?

Assuming you have kids, whatever their age, how much do you love them? How do you demonstrate care, affection, sensitivity to their needs? How do you let them know that they are unconditionally loved and for always in your favor? How do you go about reaching out to them with invitations which offer them your time, your support, your attentiveness?

This column has addressed how senior citizens may go about expressing affection to and for your spouse. Now comes the rest of the family. Clearly, alienation occurs in some families. Clearly, there are times and moments and situations in which division creates a sad chasm. But, adults can find ways to bridge those times. Forgiveness is a quality seniors can teach their juniors and elders can learn from their mistakes.

Special occasions need to be conducted often enough to bring the family together. More importantly, spontaneous occasions offer the occasion for spontaneous interaction. Living in the same community, as many unfortunately do not, provides for those opportunities of dropping in or having evening meal togethers with some frequency.

The good news for people who have the option and availability for visiting, then will be able to do so just to “enjoy” each other. No agendas, no troublesome problem solving occasions, just plain, ordinary good times.

For those living far apart, this means making the occasions for getting together to have all the icing on the cake that the cake will take. Be sure that when the visit is “home” for the kids, the time there meets their needs and desires.

Time lost is guilt gained. Making the time count with children and grandchildren is one of the ways to be productive in retirement. Seniors often complain of loneliness, but do little to find creative ways to overcome it. Retirees can make a project of having their children and grandchildren come to visit or meet in neutral places, none has experienced before. Because the senior has more time available the responsibility for travel time may best fall on them, health permitting. One warning: don’t overstay! Two warnings: don’t expect to be waited upon and don’t create tension around your habits and needs!

Loving your children is one of the greatest opportunities and past times available to parents and grandparents. Do so with a genuine expression and desire to be with each other. Everyone will blossom no matter when the visits occur.